The March 15, 2018 MoMS Connectors Table will explore using the “D-word” (disability). Sometimes it can be challenging to know when to talk about disability, or not. When to disclose disability, or not. When to ask, or not. The post below is a reflection on some of the subtler points of those decisions.

There’s also an invitation to join us at the March 15 MoMS Connectors Table. All are welcome.

In this post

Using “the D-word”

I spent last weekend downhill skiing with a group that supports recreational activities for the blind Blind Outdoor Leisure Development (BOLD). Someone (Mike) recently posted a picture of me on social media and noted in the caption that I’m blind. My wife added the fact that I’m also left handed. My visual acuity and the fact that I’m left handed were equally relevant to the event – not at all. There’s no way I’d go downhill skiing without a qualified ski guide. Why Mike felt a need to note that I don’t see on the social media post is open for speculation. The point is that there are times that it’s critically important to share that I have a visual disability and there are times when it’s simply not relevant.

In 2013 Dario Franchitti announced his retirement from auto racing after being involved in a serious accident. In his announcement he noted, “The risks involved in further racing are too great and could be detrimental to my long term well-being.” I’ve never asked a doctor about the risks I’d face when skiing without a guide but I suspect I’d get similar advice.

I recently met with a person (Craig) who is finding it challenging to find a job in his area of expertise. He uses hearing aids and has been affected by a spinal cord condition. Neither of these facts are relevant to his ability to perform in the workplace. I suspect employers are projecting their imaginations onto their perceptions of Craig and discounting his qualifications to reflect the image they have projected of him as a person with multiple disabilities.

I had never been downhill skiing until after a doctor had told me I was going blind. Dario Franchitti had been racing for 30 years before a doctor told him he should stop. Both Franchitti and I changed our behavior as a result of doctor’s advice. There’s no question that my vision is considered a disability. Franchitti’s doctor told him his condition made it dangerous for him to drive but I doubt that he considers himself to be disabled. Mike’s comment that I’m blind was correct but not relevant. What about Craig? He’s no more disabled than Dario Franchitti but seems to be perceived as being disabled.

Lessons learned:

• There appears to be three elements at play here: hard facts, context, and perceptions. If we apply these elements to Franchitti, Craig, and me we can make the following observations:
• Franchitti isn’t thought of as having a disability because he doesn’t race anymore. Once the racing context was removed so was the disabling condition. It’s interesting to note that we often say athletes experienced a career ending injury rather than that they became disabled after an injury.
• Craig does not have a disability in the context of employment but is perceived as being disabled due to his visual presentation.
• I clearly have a disabling condition but that’s not always relevant.

applying the lessons:

The mixture of facts, context, and perceptions can make for an unpredictable stew. If you’ve ever made stew you know that the combination of ingredients, timing, and preparation make all the difference in the finished product. The Indonesian bean stew we make comes together pretty quickly and is quite a versatile dish. Our beef stew takes all day to cook and makes for a hearty meal. Other than eating it from a bowl, there’s not much else to do with it.

Similarly, when we apply the mixture of facts, context, and perceptions surrounding people’s lives we can end up with an unpredictable caricature of one another. A part of the problem is that when we bring the dynamics of personal space and the standards of privacy outlined in the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) we can easily get too scared to go beyond our own fears or those of the Human Resources department.

The bottom line here is pretty simple. If we use what we learned in kindergarten as a guide we’ll be able to learn what we need to know about each other with dignity and without wasting each other’s time.

Join the conversation

The March 15, 2018 MoMS Connectors Table will explore using the “D-word” in our everyday conversation. If you’ve made a commitment to be more open to yourself or others in the New Year, this conversation may be especially relevant. The MoMS Connectors Table series explores our relationship with disability through first-person, facilitated, conversations.

Who: All roundtables are open to everyone. The roundtable conversations may be of special interest to: employers, HR professionals, professionals with a disabling condition, PWD allies, and disability service providers. As a first-person conversation, all participants are asked to speak on behalf of themselves, from their own experiences.

When: The March MoMS Connectors Table will take place on Thursday, March 15 at 3:00 PM until 4:30 PM. Vision Forward Association campus located at 912 North Hawley Rd., Milwaukee. For more information or to register: Mar 15 Connectors Table

An underlying tenant of the roundtables is “We are each of us broken, and yet, we are all whole persons.”

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for more information:

www.Mainstreaming on Main Street

Dan Lococo, Barrier Knocker Downer

414.333.5846

Dan.Lococo@gmail.com